searching in the battle of being
we attempted to glimpse the other side
dance took us in it's arms
bliss of green nature in the land of oil and vine
your ideas became real to me
playing hopscotch in the night
ascending to the paintings of your imagination
I grew by leaps and bounds
we traced our lives
your call came with silence.
I was your angel as you opened my wings
yearning for the sensation of trust
of love beyond ourselves
you taught me to be more human, lifted like a gift
feet arms head and hearts
we walked together as if life was happening elsewhere
with joy with joy
The English Patient
Last week I was watching Netflix at my family's house when my phone rang. It was Jonathan's family. I answered to hear the words, "Jonathan was in a car accident." Jon's mom and dad were driving on their way to the hospital, and at that stage, no one knew what condition he was in. They did, however, know that he was life-flighted to the hospital. I was stunned. Shocked. Frantically I began trying to process the situation. The love of my life was in a car accident - I could lose him tonight. I called my airline and waited on hold, trying to see if I could re-schedule my travels back to VA for the next available flight. And I prayed hard. I fell on my face asking God to protect him - that he would be unharmed - that he wouldn't be in pain.
It was a head on collision. Both drivers going at a steady 50-55mph. Jonathan's veichle was shredded - the steering wheel twisted, the dashboard caved in, the floor rippled. By God's grace, He gifted us with a miracle. Jonathan came out with a few cuts, a sprained wrist and a very slight concussion. I flew home to him the day after, and there he was - all in one piece, completely himself and looking beautiful as always <3 The reality is, by all odds, Jonathan should have died in that car accident. Or at least suffered traumatic injuries. When I was reuinited with him, the two of us sat down and held eachother close. I whispered to him," When I thought of losing you, I felt so alone." He kissed me on the forehead and was thoughtful for a moment. He looked into my eyes, "With Jesus, you're never alone." Leave it to Jon to say something so simple, yet so profound. Something awoke within me as he said those words. I realized that even through the fear of the unknown, I felt God the whole time. I knew that He was there listening- feeling my pain and my love. What scared me was that I knew I had to trust Him, even if that meant letting go. The beauty of it all, was that no matter the outcome, Jesus was there with me through it all.
I've been praying prayers of thanks to God every night since the accident. Life is so delicate. People are fragile. Our hearts are breakable. Hold your loved ones close - let go of the petty arguments and the insignificant frusterations. Remember that those who you love are among the greatest earthly gifts God has granted to you.
To love and be loved - that is the beauty of life.
Yesterday I was photographing Jonathan for a His Style post, and decided I'd hop in the pictures with him. It's not all too often we have quality photographs of the two of us together, so I seized the moment with a tripod and self-timer. He's a good sport <3 Jonathan is wearing an army green 3/4 sleeve shirt from Gamiss. He was pretty happy with this one since green is his color, and the fit and fabric are comfortable. Jonathan is all about the functionality, so it poses an extra challenge to me when I want to find him stylish clothing.
I'm wearing a gray knit cardigan from Gamiss. I've been looking for the perfect winter cardi lately - something with good fit that provides warmth without a lot of bulk. I think I've found my new favorite! The weather has been getter chillier here in Virginia, so it's definitely a good time to have sweaters on hand. My necklace is a piece I picked up from Charming Charlie's annual sale - I snagged it for $3!
Him: shirt: c.o Gamiss|sunglasses: Target|jeans: Jcrew|Boots:Walmart